School days for Miia?

In the States, Miia attended pre-school and we thought it would be a great experience for her to do the same here. It would be an excellent way for her to meet other children and perhaps learn Spanish. Of course, some things are easier said than done. Since our stay in Valencia is relatively short (2 1/2 months), it has been a bit difficult to find something convenient for our time-frame and location. Again, many people have been very helpful with this - checking with their own children's schools (one a bilingual school on the outskirts of Valencia and one a Spanish-only school within walking distance of the apartment) for availability. No "real" school has worked out - either due to location or to availability. But Luis gave us an alternate possibility - an English language academy located near the center offering programs after school - that his girlfriend's niece attends. For Miia's age group, it works more like an after-school program. It's not what I envisioned she'd be doing, but at least she gets to spend some time with other kids.

After talking to the owner Helen (who is also one of the teachers), we went to the academy on Monday to check it out for the first time. Miia was hesitantly excited. Given the chance to play with the other children or sit with us while Helen talked to us in detail about the academy, she chose to sit with us and Analea but kept going out of the office to take a peek at the other kids. We liked Helen the school and the other people so we made arrangements for Miia to start on Wednesday.

Wednesday arrived and Miia was excited at first but on the bus ride to the school, she kept saying, "I can't do this. I don't think I can do this." I really felt for her, but I kept telling her, "Yes, you can. And Mommy and Daddy will be there." Helen told us that we could stay with Miia on her first day so Ikept telling Miia that at least one of us would be there and she wouldn't be alone.

Once we arrived, she did not want us to leave her there alone, so I stayed while John walked around with Analea. It was a little heart-wrenching to be with Miia because I could see how concerned and afraid she was. There were at least 10 other children there her age and all of them were very curious about her (and me staying with her). Even though it's an English-learning academy, the kids, of course, wanted to talk to her in Spanish and did. They tried to engage her and Miia kept retreating within herself...mostly because she couldn't understand them and also because that's just her nature. She has always needed time to adjust to a new situation and people. Give her about half an hour and she begins to feel comfortable. After awhile, I didn't have to hold her and she sat next to another little girl and coloring "the Little Mermaid" seemed to be their bond. However, Miia just would not talk. Finally, the little girl kept asking, "Hablar? hablar" I guess she was asking, "Do you speak?" And Miia just didn't answer. Finally, I just told the girl in my child-like Spanish that Miia only spoke English and couldn't speak Spanish. At the end of this group time, Helen came to take Miia to one of the classroms with the older kids who were so fascinated by Miia and asked tons of questions about America and her home. Still no response. Analea, on the other hand, somehow managed to make her way to the children's play area and then to the classroom where Miia was where she too was immediately scooped up and fawned over.

When we finally got the girls out of the classroom and outside, we had the chance to ask Miia how she felt about her time there and about the school. It was hard to get her to tell us how she felt, but she said she would try it again. So we planned to go again on Thursday.

Thursday came and went and we didn't go. I was feeling under the weather. John had a meeting and Analea was asleep. Miia said she didn't want to go. We planned to try again on Friday.

All day she was a little anxious. "I don't think any of those children are the types of people who can be my friend." "What kind of person can be your friend, Miia?" "I don't know. Someone like Erin." "Well, you don't really know what the kids are like. Once you're there for a longer time, you can really see who can be your friend."

Once John came home, we all piled out of the house to catch the #2 or #3 bus to the school near the center of town. As I sat with Miia, she kept repeating,"I'm not sure about this. I'm REALLY not sure about this." I talked to her about all the times that she was scared about doing things (recitals, PS3, PS2) and how she was able to get over her fears and ended up liking what she thought she could never do. "But that was in America. I can't understand anything here." She had me there...and I wondered for a moment if we were doing the right thing. But I felt, deep down, that this was one of those teaching moments. I wanted her to be able to do this and see that she had nothing to be afraid of...that she could indeed do this on her own. I told her, "I know it's hard when you can't understand people and what's going on, but I know you can do this. Let's try for a week and if it's still too hard after that, we won't make you go any more." "Okay," she said half-heartedly.

As we neared our stop, her anxiety grew. As we neared the school, I thought she might run back to the bus stop. I thought it would be easier if John took her into the school and I waited outside with Analea. As I gave Miia a hug, she clung on for dear life. I kept reassuring her, "It will be ok. You can do this. But if you can't take it, Miss Helen will call us. We won't be far. We'll come get you." I gave her a big hug and kiss and started to walk with Analea. We discreetly made our way to the playground across the street where I could see John saying goodbye to Miia. I could tell that she was not letting him go. Somehow John was able to free himself and I could see Miss Helen take her to the other children. What a hard thing to have to watch...

Two hours later, with no call from the teacher, we returned a bit early and could hear Miia talking, talking, talking very animatedly to someone. ("Thank god," I thought.) I was glad to hear that she sounded happy. When she saw we had arrived, she was excited to tell us about her time and the teacher. And this time she told us that she wanted to go back. This time, she really meant it. So, off she'll go to school for 3 days a week - Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday - from 5 to 7:30 in the evening. And John, Analea and I will have to find some way to amuse ourselves during that time.